Hello.

Recently the National Institute of Health released a report on what they thought caregivers should do with and for people living with dementia. “Keep them (us) busy!”

“Help him/her to find a new hobby, volunteer somewhere doing something, fold and refold all your socks and/or towels, play Bingo with himself or others.” say the professionals to our caregivers.

“What about jogging in place, or writing 500 times: “I’ve lost interest in life, especially my own life. I’m scared; I’m lonely”  I sarcastically reply.

Why don’t “they” (whoever “they” may be in your life) get “it”? When you leave your job, you can’t drive, you must of necessity ask for help doing things you did by yourself in the recent past - when this cosmic convergence of restraints comes into your life following the words. “You have dementia, probably of this or that type” you (we) (me) lost our sense of purpose. Our reason for waking up in the morning, and staying awake all day sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always inevitably erodes and eventually disappears.   Our reason for feeling good about ourselves, the reason for working at staying alive, fulfilled, growing, and fully being goes away.

Activities, especially those suggested by people who have no idea who we really are, what our purpose was previous to diagnosis, how we went about realizing it, activities are not a substitute for purposeful activity. Everyone knows this! Everyone knows the difference for themselves.

Please spend a little time engaged with people with dementia helping us figure out what are the elements of our purpose (new and/or old), and how we can participate in activities that fulfill our need to lead a purposeful and joy filled lives.  Thank you very much!

~Richard